The "C" Word

Not that word. I'm talking about COMMITMENT. In the past couple weeks that I have been working on my 3 step plan, I have come to realize that I have a HUGE fear of this. The weird thing is that I'm not really scared of being committed to a relationship, it's more or less my Future. I don't know if it's because  my parents both changed their careers after 30-something years, or if it's due to the fact that for four years I attended a school where if someone dared utter the "F" word, three quarters of the student body would drop to the fetal position and beg for mercy while purposely failing their classes. The fact is that it does not matter what caused this anxiety, it exists. Every time I think of where I'll be five years from now my breathing gets all ragged and my throat gets tight and parched. This cannot be a good sign. Here's the thing, the problem is that there are a bunch of things that I can see myself doing and being successful but there isn't that ONE thing that I am completely passionate about. There were times when I thought I was though. Like that time I was a journalism major right out of high school(what???), or the time when I decided I was going to be a cosmetologist...For the record, I did enjoy doing hair (and sometimes still do) but the pressure of having to do it every day and be PERFECT, was not for me. I mean I guess it's good that I'm trying things so I can find out what works and eliminate what doesn't, but the problem is that I haven't found anything that works yet. I love writing, because I'm hilarious, but I don't think I would be successful if I tried to force it out of me. It's pretty much the reason I'm terrified of trying stand up comedy. I know I'm funny, it's just more of a spontaneous kind of thing. I don't think I would be as funny if I tried to write it. What I'm pretty much focused on right now is event planning. Like weddings and parties and stuff. I feel like it's a good fit for me because A) I LOVE DAVID TUTERA AND EVERYTHING HE DOES!!! I even got to meet him with some friends over the summer. It was amazing!!!! B)It's a consistent job but with enough variety that I don't think I will get bored and C)I just love weddings. And parties in general. I know I would be good at this. 
My main issue now is figuring out how to go about doing this because even though there are many amazing and talented Party Planners out there, it's not exactly like schools have a major for this kind of thing. Which is pretty stupid if you ask me. 


This is us with David!! I'm the one to his left, obv. And yes we did make t-shirts. Jealous?