newthingsnewthingsnewthings

Lots of stuff has happened. But instead of going on and on and on about it, I'ma just list them for you.

1) My gallbladder has been removed. Surgery was about two weeks ago and recovery has been a raging bitch. Turns out I'm allergic to the glue they used to put humpty back together again.

2) I've decided to go back to school because i have FINALLY found a program that will earn me a degree (or certificate rather, but who really gives a shit?)in Event Planning.Hooray!

3) After spending one glorious year here, I have to leave the Great North. Why, you ask? Dear reader, it is because school is in New Jersey. Who would've thought? It felt like a bit of a step back at first but I'm realizing it's more of a step in the right direction this time. It didn't help that the school I'm going to is the same one I left two years ago. Can I get a Womp WOMP?

4) I have had a creative breakthrough. I cannot say any more than that. Except that I'm so fucking talented I almost feel bad about it. Minus the feeling bad part.That was just bullshit I was feeding you.

hangover city: population 2

Sistah #1 and I are STRUGGLING today....it was a great night and I would say it was definitely worth the morning after. 

Here's what happened with my costume in chronological order:
1) my mother's sewing machine had a broken part so I had to order it and PRAY the part would come in time.
2) When it looked like that was not going to happen Sistah #1's VERY generous friend lent us her machine.
3)That machine lacked a part as well.
4)I begin to hand sew my costume.
5)The part to the original machine arrived on thursday afternoon.
6)The machine still won't work.
7)I end up sewing the entire thing by hand. 


My mother is so proud. Here's the end result of the Yummy Mummy (cleverly name by Sistah #1):

bonybonyfingersandbonybonybones

ATTEMPTING TO MAKE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME FROM START TO FINISH ALL BY MYSELF!!! WITH A SEWING MACHINE THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've already had to call my mother twice.


Will keep you posted.

made carrot cake tonight. Awesome you say? You betcha!

None of you participated in last post's game so therefore you will never get another chance to play one. Congratulations on seven of you, you've ruined it for everyone!

In other news, my gallbladder needs to be taken out. It's basically turned into a big hackey sack full of stones. 
GROSSED OUT YET????????????
Anyway, this new development has been super frustrating in my eating life. As you all know, I have been trying to cut down on the crappier foods and lose the lb's and blah blah blah. Well, this new diet has me eating NO FAT WHATSOEVER! Not even the good kind, like avocado. I'm going to miss that little guy's presence in my life. RIP Avocado. The most frustrating thing of all though is that I can't find any good snacks. Pretzels? Nope. Rice quakes? Not even close to being an option. It's tough I tell ya, real tough. 
Other things that are going on: Jonpaiz ran away to California. I miss him dearly. It really sucks having one of your best friends literally on the other side of the country. I am single again, which is neither here nor there. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd I guess that's all that is new today.

"I don't think I could go on a first date if I couldn't drink!"

We're going to play a game called guess which sister of mine gave me the above quote. You may submit your answers below. The winner receives a high five upon our next encounter.

So lately I've been getting pretty serious about this whole Event Planning thing. I have taken on the task of planning the wedding of a very good friend of mine in hopes that it will lead me to more clients, a portfolio, and perhaps some guidance in this area. I'm starting to realize that while running my own event planning business is something that I was never really interested in, it may be the only way to really get into this business. At my "advanced age" (I'm only 24 but apparently that's like super old when it comes to this type of thing) I don't really qualify for internships and because I don't have an actual college degree I don't qualify for an entry level job. As you can probably imagine, I am getting super frustrated. For a while I was kind of upset that I have to devote this next school year to nannying (the salon job didn't work out) instead of something I actually care about BUT it is giving me the time to do some research. Like today, I discovered that there is a difference between a Bridal Consultant and a Wedding Planner. Sistah #1 guessed the differences before I even looked it up. She's just super smart like that I guess. ANYWAY I'm trying to figure out where to really go from here. Are online certifications a total scam? My one side of my brain ( I don't know which, you can pick) says "DUH NICOLETTE OF COURSE IT IS! Don't be an idiot!!" while the other half (the opposite of the one you originally chose) is saying "But it would be so easy to use this time I have to get a certification without actually having to go to school and spend your nights crying over your math homework..." Math is my nemesis. It makes my throat get all dry and my stomach starts to hurt and I get the urge to drop to the fetal position and cry, cry, cry in the lonely night. So you can see my dilemma here. I know that eventually I want to have a college degree. That is part of my ultimate goal. But the other part of my ultimate goal is to actually start my career of choice before I am 80. So am I trying to find any loophole possible? Yes. There is no doubt about it. I admit, I am a big fan of taking the easy way out if it will benefit me. 


Also, just to clarify, I do know that an online certification is not the equivalent of a college degree. 


 

I'm getting really bad at this

Dear Everyone,
I would like you all to know that my life is going super well these days. I have a new job (receptionist at the salon I go to- yay!!!!) and there is a new guy in my life. It's a very exciting time for everybody involved. This new guy looks exactly like Ron Weasley. Is that not the best or what???????? He's also very nice and not at all like the soul sucking Dementor that once haunted my life. ALSO that little noodle #9 has been here for the past two weeks!! It has been delightful to spend so much time with my little sister. Also it has been REALLY nice to have someone watch Pretty Liars and Degrassi: Now or Never with. Which brings me to my next point: D:NON is doing great things to my tv! But there is not nearly enough Sav yet...really hoping they get on that. In other news: Everybody needs to listen to Christina Perri's album. The entire thing. I'm not kidding. Go now and do this.That is all.


Nico out!

I'm baaaaack!!!

And I'm doing super well thank you very much! I have returned to my bloggo after a much needed break. BEDM was really too much for me. I have returned to The Great North after a week in NJ. It was one exhausting week, let me tell you. I spent the holiday weekend down in Seaside with my lady friends and it was CRAZY! There are really no words. There was dancing, drinking, more dancing, more drinking, celebrity sightings (Jersey Shore cast yesssssss) and somewhere in there we actually spent time on the beach. I will say though that as amazing and fun as this weekend was, nothing is more important than My Night With Meg Cabot. I capitalized that because it makes it seem more official. What really happened is that I went to a bookstore (that was frankly too small to host an author as fabulous as Meg)and listened to Meg Cabot (my idol in absolutely everything I do) talk about what it is like to be a writer. I mean it was really about what it's like for HER to be a writer because let's face it, it's different for everybody. Let me tell you something about Meg Cabot, she is FANTASTIC. Absolutely everything I imagined her to be which was shocking really because you're not really supposed to actually meet your idols, seeing as they usually let you down. But not Meg. Listening to her speak about her writing and life in general was like listening to myself. No joke, I feel like we should be best friends. One day. Anyway, I got to ask her a question and I nearly passed out I was so nervous. I didn't realize how nervous I was about meting her until I opened my mouth to talk and could barely hear myself speaking over the obnoxiously loud thumping of my heart and the blood rushing to my head. Just reread that part and want to clarify something for you 7 (7 of you? Where did you all come from??)I am not in love with Meg Cabot. I just worship her. Lots. Anyway, I was super sneaky because I asked her if it was hard for her to hand over her work to people who adapt her books into screenplays (she's done it several times, 2 movies, 1 M4TV movie, and a television series...she's phenomenal) and she said that it wasn't hard because she always loves seeing someone elses interpretation of her stories. This is fantastic news to me because I really want to do that with one of her books, Boy Meets Girl, (which I had her sign) and little does Ms. Cabot know she basically just gave me permission to do it. Btdubbz, the message she wrote in my book was "For Nicolette, You Rule! Meg Cabot" and guess what guys? I DO rule!

this weekend

was delightful. Cavanator, Sistah #1 and I all went out last night. There was beer,music, dancing, and other activities. It was the most fun I've had in a while and it restored my confidence which to be perfectly honest, I've been lacking lately. 

I FINALLY read Tina Fey's "Bossypants" last week. Loved it! The best part (don't worry I'm not ruining anything) was when she took a picture of herself all glammed up and compared it to another picture of herself when she looks like her normal self. I know I say it a lot but she and I really are so much alike. Because lately I've been thinking, what do you do when you want to show the world this person:

but in reality you feel a lot more like this person:

how do you merge the two??? food for thought. 

nico out.

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

in no particular order...

• people telling me how slammin my new haircut is (hint, it's a-freaking-dorable
• fourth of july weekend in seaside with mah ladies!!! we're gonna *trash it up big time.
• meeting meg cabot my favorite author in the whole entire world.
• MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
• MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!!!!!! (the two are completely different things)
• the trampoline that will soon be entering my life, thus proving moving to the Great North was the best thing I could've done.
• the family trip to disney world in august!

• the Tri (now 5) Wizard tourney!

*trash it up is NOT the same as "slut it up." just to clarify, i will not be slutting it up.

BEDM IS OVER!

And I'm celebrating by writing a new post...lamer. Actually GREAT NEWS I just sent off my first 6 pages to jonpaiz!!!!! I hope he loves it, but he probably won't. It's going to be too long. That's what he'll have a problem with but WHATEVAH! I'm just so excited to be writing for realsies again!!!!

memorial day!!!

Our Memorial Day was great! We went to the parade (where there were no marching bands due to the weather. THAT was a disappointment.) and saw many, many puppies dressed in their patriotic gear! There is very little that I love more than that. We then went home, had a big cookout, and drank poolside all the day long. I of course got burnt. BUT it was not nearly as bad as I had expected it to be so that was nice. I am however, covered in bug bites so that part sucks. But still, it was a great day so it was worth it.

saturday

Saturday night was the most ridiculous night I have had in the Great North. Red was here (YAY!!) and we were planning on meeting a few of my coworkers at this place called Teddy's. Now, not being from around here I had no idea that Teddy's should really be named "Place where old people go to escape their great grandchildren." That's how old these people were. The ones who were old enough to be my dad were waaay too young to be at this place. There were way too many sequins covering bra-less boobs for this age group. So Red and I left. And good thing we did because when we got to this other bar, we found one cute guy (and his cute but terribly obnoxious wingman) and left with some digits. Overall I'd say the night ended up in a much better place than where it started.

writingwriting

Y'all will be pleased to know that finally got a good start on my writing. I know you were all so worried about it so now you can rest your little heads. I've written three of the five pages that have been required of me by the end of this weekend. Who knew jonpaiz could be such a slave driver?

currently...

procrastinating starting my new writing project because I have no good ideas. 

please send help. 

i'm exhausted

I was just about to write about how tired I am, after waking up and 5:30 this morning to go babysit all day. BUT then my wonderful, amazing, and delightful sister decided to inform me of the present she got me today, which was a six pack of Mike's hard raspberry lemonade. So I'm just gonna write about how excited I am for this weekend instead. CANNOT WAIT for Red to come visit me tomorrow!!!! We're getting our drank and dance on. Super psyched. Then we plan on laying out by the pool sipping cocktails until she has to leave on monday. It's gonna be great.

grown up??

Maybe sooner than I thought!! I applied for my first ever credit card today! I find out within ten days if it's approved. Fingers crossed!!!

things got steamy

....in the steam room. After spin tonight I went into the steam room at my gym and let me tell you it was a strange experience. First of all, discovering this magical place has been the best thing to happen to me all week. "But Nicolette," you're all saying, "it's only Tuesday. You still have plenty of time to make this week turn into an outrageous suckfest!" And while you make a good point I will have to counteract your point by telling you to SUCK IT.
Seriously though, once I got over the complete (but now seemingly stupid) shock of a girl gettin' totes nekkid right in front of me, I was able to relax, shut my eyes, and feel my pores fly open to let the nasties out. It is most definitely becoming a staple in my routine.

Feeling rather sickish. I spent today working with children and  then napping for like four hours. After that I ended up receiving a phone call from a good friend of mine who I've been meaning to catch up with. Recently the people who I once thought were just passing fads in my life are turning out to be the ones I can count on the most. Isn't that something?

...........

I just want to apologize for being so terrible at this whole BEDM thing. I promise never to do it again. That is, I promise never to attempt BED-fill-in-the-blank-with-your-month-of-choice-here ever again. 

I'm gonna go do some dishes and call it a night.

PROM!

I did not get to see PROM the movie because SOMEBODY wouldn't let me see it without her even though I no longer live under the same roof as she does. However, I did get to see that little noodle #9 of to her senior prom this weekend. She looked so pretty!!!!!!!! I cannot lie, I definitely got a bit misty eyed! It was like she was a grownup or something. I mean she's not. Because that would mean that I am and hey, I think we all know what's really going on with that. I've decided I'm definitely taking a class in the fall. Maybe two. I'm not sure. I still have to figure that all out but the point is I'm doing it. I need to finish school and be a functioning member of society. And I need to be happy and all that blah blah blah. It's ok. Everything's going to be fine.

guys....I had molly.

Molly McIntire:
If you had Molly, you probably wanted Samantha instead, but contented yourself with Molly because you too wore glasses, liked books, were bad at math, and would concoct various schemes to get attention. (Oh, Molly.) If you were a Molly, and had a Molly (as opposed to being a Molly and aspirationally owning a Felicity), you were imbued, then and now, with an immutable sense of self. At least Molly could tap dance, which is frankly more talent than any of the other girls exhibited.

As an adult, you’ve developed a carefully honed aptitude for sarcasm. You've gotten contacts, and a slightly edgy haircut. You still sort of want attention, but you deny it. You’ve thought back on your American Girl Doll, and tried not to be too resentful towards the person who gave her to you, who so obviously associated you with the descriptor “mousy.”

season finale night :(

Okay guys, I'm just gonna say it. I care more about whether or not Leslie and Ben can continue their relationship than I do about who's going to be the next manager of Dunder Mifflin. I mean both are super important to my future (just kidding it's only tv. but seriously...) but I just find unrequited love to be a much bigger draw than the future of a dying paper company. 

The Office is still my number one show though. Just so we're clear. 

one more thing...

Also I am SO EXCITED ABOUT MY NEW WRITING PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

babysitters club

Seriously guys. I just watched the trailer for the babysitter's club movie and nearly had a heart attack. What was Stacey thinking? I mean really! Luca was 17!!!! She was only 13!!! GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And also while we're at it, Mallory seems to be the only one with a brain. Jesse Claims they have enough money to buy a car but is put in her place when that one-day-spitfire Mallory points out the fact that "in five years they can drive it." 


Classic Mallory. 

MEG CABOT

Ok so Meg Cabot is my favorite author OF ALL TIME and I just found out that she is going to be in NJ (where I no longer live but it's pretty darn close) in July doing a book signing. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting FOR TEN YEARS for her to go on a tour that includes somewhere close enough to me to meet her. SO WHO'S COMING WITH ME????????

blurgh

GUYS!!!! I'm getting really bad with the whole BEDM thing....I apologize. Things that are new and happening with me:

pretty much nothing. I'm looking into school stuff for the fall. Trying to figure out a way to become an event planner without majoring in business.....ideas anyone? All are welcome. Unless your idea is stupid. In that case you can keep it to yourself.

Homer is my only friend this evening.

Second.

GUYS! IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN LAST NIGHT'S PARKS AND REC EPISODES THEN GET OFF OF THE COMPUTER AND WATCH THEM! I am LITERALLY bursting with joy and jealousy over here and NEED someone to talk to about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

That is all.

first of all

I just realized that the post I did last night did not actually publish. So there's that. Basically it was about how I went to the most hilarious t-ball game I've ever been to in my life. There was this little girl who when they were in the outfield, literally laid down on the field and stared off into the great blue yonder. Seriously hysterical. Also BIG NEWS GUYS! My legs are getting into super awesome shape due to all the zumba/spin/etc. that I've been doing so I'm looking forward to purchasing (and actually wearing) shorts for the first time ever! I mean I've worn shorts before, I've just always kind of hated it and preferred skirts. I still love skirts. And sundresses. Because they're adorable and tis the season and all that but the point is that I'm feeling pretty good about my gams these days. Also I've just always wanted to use gams in a sentence. Now that I have it just doesn't feel right though.

SUMMER CHOP!

Guys, I've been doing a lot of serious thinking and I have come to the decision that I am going to give my hair a summer chop. Well, actually I'm going to pay someone to give my hair a summer chop. Because I can't cut my own hair. Well, I can cut my own bangs but not the rest of my hair. Alright well I did it once or twice and it turned out ok but those were just trims, and not a whole new style. Anyway, I'm bringing this to your attention because I need ideas. I'd like something fun, flirty, and thriving. Just kidding, I'm not Jennifer Garner and this isn't an awesome romcom that spoiler alert ends up with me getting hitched to scruffy and lovable Mark Ruffalo. But seriously, I'm going short. Not peter pan pixie dust short, but like chin length. So send me your ideas people! Or not. It's whatevs really.

oh joy!!

Guys, I just found out that there are 16 books in the Stephanie Plum series. I thought I was almost done!!!! I'm very excited about this.

sooooo sleepy

I took a nap today. It was awesome. But it was a medically induced nap (I'm unfortunately developing allergies and they were terrible today so I took some Benodryl and it knocked me TFO!) so it was more like a coma anyway. I woke up to my mouth hanging open and a drool pool was starting to form. Embarrassing? YUP!

SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY!

This saturday was my niece's First Holy Communion. Let me be the first to tell some of you people that she looked SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!! It was such a nice ceremony and we all had a really great time. Afterwards, I then traversed down to Jersey for approximately 12 hours so I could spend Mother's Day with you guessed it, my mother. During which we played a kickass game of kickball. My team won. Yes it's true our mom was on our team so we had an automatic win anyway but we didn't even need it because the score was 7-5 us. 

Kapowza!

BEDM FAIL!

Guys, I failed at BEDM. BUT I'm not giving up!!! So I'm going \to be writing 3 entries today (including this one) to make up for lost time. I apologize to all those I have let down.

The night before communion

Ok I don't have much time because I left my beer in the kitchen with my siblings and I fear they might drink the rest of it. Also Christophat just slapped me in the face. Just like the girl he is. This is going to have to count as my BEDM for the evening because I'm almost out of time!!!!! Currently arguing with that little noodle number 9 about the whereabouts of the "O" in Blog Every Day Of May. She does not understand that the "O" is not necessary. Alright, off to finish my beverage of choice which this evening is Bud Light Lime. Also one of my brothers is standing behind me watching me write this. He claims he already finished my beer but seeing as he is fourteen he is only kidding. I hope.

Nico Out.

Cinco de Mayo!!

I was a lazy bum today and decided not to work out. Probs not an entirely brilliant plan but mah legs needed a break. I think if I worked them any harder this week they would've detached themselves from my hips and walked themselves right out the door. They're legs, what do they care anyway? Got a mini-massage at work today. It was AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING! It was only ten minutes but it was ten minutes of pure bliss. I nearly passed out right there in the chair. I absolutely will be investing in a full-length massage one of these days. I get a discount so it shouldn't be too expensive. Though, if we're being honest here (and of course I am) I should really not be spending the money I definitely do not have on a massage. If there's a beauty treatment I'm going to spend my hard earned dollahs on it's a facial. I could seriously use one. I did recently fall in love with a new facial cleanser though. It's Burt's bees Soap bark and chamomile deep cleanser. It's amazing. My skin is now so soft and I only need to moisturize at night. Plus it smells like lemon sorbet so, BONUS for my nose!! Alright it's time for me to go read until some ungodly hour of the night. It's a taxing job to be me, but somebody has to do it ;)

soooooooooooo sore

Well, I'm not so much sore as I am exhausted. My legs have pretty much given up on me this evening. I would too if I were a pair of legs that was forced to perform for two hours of Zumba. It's all good though. They need to get used to it because I am seriously contemplating becoming a Zumba instructor. Because I love it. And I'm awesome at it. And now boys and girls it is time for me to retire up to the bedroom and finish reading my book. It is called "Hot Six" and it is the sixth book (shocking, I know) in a fantastic series about a kickass, Jersey girl bounty hunter. Every girl should read this series. The books are hilarious and really quick reads too. There are ten in all, and I've read 4, 5, and 6, in the last 48 hours. Who's awesome? I'm awesome. 

BEDM #3

Guys, I am totally kicking ass at this whole BEDM thing. It's going really well for me.
Did spin tonight and as usual, it kicked my ass.
Tried the new Zumba class right after spin and it wasn't as intense as I had expected it to be but it was still a pretty good workout. Swimsuit season is upon us people, time to crank it up a notch!!

My legs are pretty pissed at me though.

BEDM

Totally forgot about BEDM until approximately 6 minutes ago. Only the second day and I'm already failing almost. Yikes. Don't have much to say except that Sistah #1 would like to let it be known throughout the land that our mother did not in fact purchase her prom dress, she made it. So she didn't even get t ogo prom dress shopping. Upsetting right? That's all for this evening.

Nico out.

For Wess.

Hokay, because I was such a failure last month I am now proclaiming (at the very strong urgings of my dear friend Wessica)this to be the start of BEDM. This stand for Blog Every Day of May. It only kind of rhymes. I will certainly try not to let all 7(!!) of you readers down. 
 First of all I'd like to say that Easter was quite the success. Our matching pj's were quite the adorable choice. The week leading up to Easter however was exhausting. I spent 4 days in Jersey catching up with my family and friends I left behind when I moved on up to the  Great North. The best/worst part of it though was shopping for my baby sister's prom dress. It was the very last prom dress my parents will ever by for their children. Unless little brother decides to go that route but I sincerely doubt that will be the case. It was so fun but so sad at the same time!! It's so hard to believe that she'll be going off to college next year! And with my track record she will most likely finish school before I do. That was a joke. Except not really. Honestly though, I think the rest of us are way more emotional about it than she is. I know for a fact that I cared more about the final Prom Shopping Excursion than my own mother did. But I guess after five daughters she's pretty psyched to put an end to the purchasing of expensive dresses that let's face it, will only be worn once. Or twice. Depending on how many times you decide to wear it just because you feel like looking pretty. OH, that's not a normal thing? Not every girl does that? My b.

When in doubt, dance out

I have some excellent news. I have discovered a HUGE difference between the male members of both Connecticut and New Jersey. I will share this kernel of knowledge with you shortly but first I must start at the beginning. Last week my sister left me. She took her husband, their three children, and a bunch of suitcases and peaced out, leaving me with nothing but two snuggly pups and an otherwise empty house to look after. The first few days were fun. Although, I got a little lonely at night so I ended up moving the dog beds into my room. Cozy. However, I was free to come and go as I pleased (not that this is ever really an issue) and I always had control over what was on the television. This was all well and good but come Friday I just could not wait for my girls to arrive. So we went out to this great place called Molly Darcy's and we're dancing and singing along with the music (aka losing my shit when the band started playing a Bon Jovi medley) and then all of a sudden a miracle happens! This guy was dancing near me, like kind of trying to dance with me but not really wanting to be too forward, and then that "Hello" song came on and he started flailing about! All of a sudden one of his arms comes flying past my face and smacked my (full) beer out of my hand! The bottle literally shattered all over the ground but nobody else seemed to notice the tidal wave of Michelob Ultra cascading over my pants and the dance floor. Now if we were in Jersey, I would have lost it and started telling the guy off. Or rather my friends would do it on my behalf because hey, let's face it, I'm not really interested in confrontation. Said guy would have most likely responded with a "Whoops my bad" and then danced his way to the other side of the room. However, we were in the Great North and up here, there are other ways of handling the situation. In fact I didn't have to do anything! I didn't even have time to be mad! Once that bottle exploded into a thousand beer flavored fairies,this guy goes "Oh man I'm so, so, sorry. Here, come with me I'll buy you a new one." And just like that, my faith in the Connecticut male was solidified. It was a beautiful moment. As much as I have spouted my never ending love for Connecticut I will say this much: nobody knows how to party like Jersey girls do. I men the guys up here, they go out for some beers and whatever and if they meet someone they meet someone but I can honestly say that I never see single girls out on the town. If there are girls at the bar it's because their boyf couldn't convince them to stay home and write the diary that night. Isn't that strange? I mean even the singer of the band that night told us he could tell we weren't from around here. And then he certainly wasn't surprised when he found out where we're actually from. Here's the thing, I consider myself to be a pretty classy lady. But I sure as hell know how to throw down when there is something to be celebrated. I'm even all for making up holidays if it gives us an excuse to party. I've met women who've been living here for almost twenty years but they haven't lost their Jersey pride! Even my sister has been here for like, fifteen years and she still knows how to play a kickass game of flipcup! Who do you think taught me everything I know about drinking beer? Certainly not the men in my life that's for sure! I guess it just goes to show that you can take the girl from Jersey but you certainly can't take Jersey from the girl.

I hope this gets to you

Oh my dog it has been FOREVER! I don't even know what to write about honestly. About two weeks ago my Uncle Mickey passed away. His passing was not by any means a shocking event. He was pretty sick and had lived a very long and fulfilling life. His funeral was the first time since June that my entire family was under one roof. Yes, all ten of us were present. It's really strange to see how all of us are growing up and getting on with our lives. Not only are we changing as individuals but our relationships with each other have certainly changed as well. For example, my brother and I used to be very close until he decided to become one of Voldemort's Deatheaters. Since then we have grown apart. It's not as bad as it was, but there are still a lot of unresolved issues there. 

Something I've been doing a lot of thinking about lately is how grateful I am for my friends. My actual friends, that is. I can count the number of people (outside of my blood relatives) who have continuously been there for me, year after year, crisis after crisis, on my one hand. I feel like in the time that I've been in the Great North I've learned that I don't have to tolerate certain people in my life and I don't have to accept excuses as to why they are the way that they are.  I don't need assholes in my life and I certainly don't need any sneaky liars either. I guess this was more of a rant than anything else but I'll be back with more at a later date.

Bon Jovi!!! and more!

It has officially been two weeks since I last posted....not that much has happened. Well, I mean a guess a good amount has happened. I have officially lost 5 pounds. I know, it doesn't sound right to me either but I think it's because a lot of my fat is converting right into muscle, and therefore the numbers don't change. It's ok though because I am TOTALLY happy with this! The next thing is that my baby sister came to visit me!!! She's not really a baby though being that she's in fact18 years old. She's going to college next year!! Baby Sis is all grown up!! :( That is pretty much all I have to say about my first week not posting anything on this bloggie. The second week was chock full o' stuff!!!! Sistah #1 and I went to see BON JOVI!!!! SWOON!!!!!!!!! They were amazing!!! We had a wonderful time!! After that I went to the dirty Jerz for the weekend. This was by no means a relaxing weekend away. I had an amazing trip but by the time I got home I was exhausted!!!! Friday morning I had a delightful bagel breakfast with one of my closest friends and came quite close to losing my appetite after an accidental Voldemort sighting. Ladies beware, if you look him in the eye you'll probably turn to stone, his powers of wretchedness are terribly similar to those of Medusa. I didn't let that ruin my day though! If anything it made it better because let's face it, I look great. That night we went into the city to see one of our friends in her student showcase- she's fabulous and adorable and all around incredibly talented!! Then we decided to party it up in Hoboken. Margaret and I just love to dance so that's what we did! That, and try to avoid lecherous douchers who do nothing but chase us around and try to stick their beer-coated tongues down our throats. Not cute guys. Not cute at all. That night was ridiculous to say the least. When we got home the pain in my feet and the booze in my head forced me to literally crawl into my house on my hands and knees. It was bad news bears. Saturday night was another shit show altogether. I had too much beer and when I got home got a real bad case of the spins. Not fun. But I always say that if you're going to fall apart at the seams, do it in private. I would never force the whole bar to worry about the state of my previously ingested dinner. That is between me and the spaghetti pot I slept with (purely for precautionary measures, of course).

Now there is something very important I would like to discuss. I have recently come to terms with the fact that my life is not a romantic comedy. I certainly wish it were, but I am not so lucky. There are certain contributing factors that would make it seem as though my life were headed in that direction but then reality pokes it's ugly head into the mix and pulls me back down to earth. For example, my best friend and I talk every day. Some days we even talk in the car on our way to work in the morning. Total Romcom material right? Only if we were in a real Romcom, we would talk on the phone on the way to work, and then when we got to work it would turn out that we were employed at the same place. Not the case here. We don't even work in the same state! Now about a month and a half ago I moved. Pretty much the whole year leading up to this move was filled with a "will we" "won't we?" scenario with a friend of mine. We have a great chemistry together but neither one of us was ever going to make the move. Then the last night I was in NJ, I made the move. I asked him if he ever planned on kissing me and he said yes, so he did, and then the Counting Crows' "Accidentally in Love" started playing, and the stars all got swirly, and we lived happily ever after. JUST KIDDING! THIS IS REAL LIFE! We did kiss, then I moved, and then nothing ever happened after that. A few texts here and there, and a terribly awkward reunion last week is all the history he and I will ever have. If this post disappointed and depressed you then good. I'm glad. I'm not the only one who should have to suffer through the realities of life alone.

Who's awesome? I'M AWESOME!

Ok, so today was FANTASTIC! Went to work, ran after small children all morning and one of my coworkers commented on how I'm looking smaller these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was beyond thrilled! Elated even! Because as all 4 of you know, I have been extremely frustrated with doing all this hard work and seeing no results! That one compliment made my day. Seriously though. The past couple days I've kinda been noticing that my shirts were feeling a little loose in certain areas but I wasn't sure if I was just making it all up in my head. And then right when I least expected it, BLAMMO! My first compliment on my already foine, soon-to-be smokin' bod. It was the perfect timing too because today marked exactly one month since I made the move to the Great North. Check this though: as great as that moment was for me, it WASN'T the only awesome thing that happened today. Let me set the scene.

Tonight, 7:24: Zumba. I walk in the double doors, take a deep breath of that old hockey equipment air, and saunter over to the front window, where I expect to get my dose of my usually twice weekly fill of flirty banter. Btdubbz, this is the gym that I don't belong to, so I was sauntering for the cute boy who tricked me into signing up. I walk, sorry, I saunter over to the window, and what do I see? Some fourteen year old kid, who didn't even check to see if I was a member. I mean really, if they are just going to assume I'm a member then why, oh WHY am I paying?? Except I guess it's ok, because the cute one always remembers me (by name!!), so I guess he doesn't really need to check my card. Anyway, upon seeing the little turdling I sign the paper and walk downstairs to the Zumba room to join my fellow booty shakers. Then what to my wondering eyes should appear? The cute guy from upstairs and eight tiny reindeer! Just kidding, there were no reindeer. The Brawny paper towel guy (original version, not the new average Joe guy) and three of his other friends decided to take the class tonight!!!! It was pretty hilarious because he has very little coordination but it was still adorable. I have never taken a Zumba class with guys in it before (except for this one time, but he wasn't that cute and his wife was there so it didn't really count) so I was a little nervy-poo but I soon got over it, as I saw this as an opportunity to show him that I know how to shake what my momma and the Big Guy upstairs so kindly bestowed upon me. Having these incredibly cute guys there was actually more motivation for me to put my all into the class. I doubt they'll show up again, and really I don't even know why they were there to begin with, but at least now I have some more ammo for Monday's flirt sesh. Oh yeah! I also noticed during the class that my workout pants are ever so slightly too big for me! Aren't I just so awesome???? I'm glad they have a drawstring on them because I just bought them like 2 weeks ago. And as excited as I am to lose more weight, my wallet is not looking forward to it as much.

A Happy Galentine's Day to All!!!!!

The first thing I'd like to discuss is that I may have a stalker. Or he's at least someone who just can't take the hint. And I don't really know how to handle the situation, mainly because I've never before been presented with such an issue. So I'm opening the floor up to you fine people and asking you to tell me what to do. I met this guy last week at work and did not get a great first impression. The next day he came and talked to me again and I tried to make it clear that I had no interest in speaking with him. For example, I read my book while he was talking to me and gave one word answers if I chose to respond at all. He then proceeded to ask me out for dinner. I told him that being new to the area and all I was still settling in and crazy busy with work and blah blah blah hoping he would get the picture. That was Friday. In the past 72 hours I have received 15 text messages (all with the same sentence: "Hey, it's Bob Lob Law." Literally all of them say the exact same thing.), and 4 phone calls. I have responded to NONE of these attempts to contact me. He also somehow found me on fabo, which was odd to me because he not once has called me by my correct name. He has only called me Nicole. And let's face it, there are like a trillion girls named Nicole out there, so it's kinda strange that he found me so quickly. At this point I am at a loss. I haven't even had the chance to be flattered by this attention because he has just come on waaaaaaay too strong. I don't want to tell him that I'm not looking to date because if word gets around the gym then I'm totally effed. There are some super hot, super nice guys that I've been getting my flirt on with and that kind of rumor would kill all the work I've done. That is all I've got to say on the matter. Now tell me what to do. And now onto bigger and more important things!



Today I received these two Valentine's:









The one on the right is from the Zack Attack (he made it himself!) and the one on the left is from the love of my life. Yes, Homer gave me a Valentine. And yeah ok, maybe it was my sister who bought said Valentine and even forged his name but I knew that he was thinking of me. Because he really loves me. You know how I know? It's because he loves to snuggle with me even when I'm in my sweats and wearing my glasses. That little (he's pretty big actually) pup is just the best thing that ever happened to me. If I never move out of my sister's house it will only be because I couldn't bear leaving that cuddly canine. Ok, here's the thing: I LOVE Valentine's Day. I really do. And not just because I'm a total and complete, hopeless romantic. I mean, I am a romantic, but I wouldn't describe myself as hopeless. Actually, I think Valentine's Day just brings out the girly-girl in me. And yes, I suppose I would have to agree with you when you point out that not only am I the girliest of girls, but I let that side of me out every day. And it's true, it does annoy me that my entire work uniform is black, so much so that I've bought black workout pants that have pink accents on the inside and a pink drawstring. My boss can't see it but I know it's there. And perhaps I have also invested in an new pair of cross trainers that are mostly white but with pink trim. In fact, I am almost positive that my love for Valentine's (get it?) is greatly influenced by the increased use of my favorite color in every day decor. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I know a lot of people are down on Valentine's Day. I mean, if I had a nickel for every time I had to hear someone bash this lovely day, then I would have......I don't know. A lot of nickels. I'm bad at math. The thing that I hate about Valentine's Day is that many (not all, but MANY) attitudes towards the holiday change from year to year, based on whether or not a person HAS a Valentine that year. Well guess what. That is the wrong way to live people! Whether or not you have a man or lady by your side should not EVER have an affect on your happiness or sense of self-worth. Let's face it, almost everybody wants to be with someone else in some way or another. But rushing into a relationship right before Valentine's or simply bemoaning the fact that you have nobody to spend the day with, is just depressing. That means you're either A) So insecure and desperate to be involved with someone on Valentine's Day that you just don't care who you're with, which btdubbz, does not say much for your self respect, or B) Telling yourself that without a significant other, you are not allowed to be happy. THESE THOUGHT PROCESSES ARE NOT OK! Here's the thing: in the Grand Scheme of Things, having a Valentine is just not that important. Unless you're married. And even then it's really not a big deal, because you're married. You've found the love of your life and unless you met each other or exchanged your vows on Valentine's Day, it really won't seem that big a deal ten years down the road. Take myself for example. The only Valentine's Day that I ever actually had a legit Valentine was wonderful. We took a trip up to Boston for the weekend, did dinner, I was given a beautiful necklace, we spent every second of that weekend together. It honestly was everything I had hoped it would be. Well, wouldn't you know that my wonderful, once seemingly perfect Valentine turned out to be none other than the Dark Lord himself? It's true. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named was once a very romantic guy. So while that one weekend was filled with love and absolute bliss, it wasn't enough to forget the bad things and it certainly could not make up for the utter shit that I went through for the whole rest of the year. I suppose my point is that nothing is permanent. It doesn't last forever. So whether or not your boyfriend/girlfriend/stalker/crush/no strings hookup buddy that you not-so-secretly have feelings for, sent you flowers or a card or even a heart candy that says "u FOINE" on the front, is not going to matter ten years from now because let's be real here, it'll be nothing short of a miracle. And if the stars really are aligned perfectly and you do by some small miracle end up together, you can always tell the story about how you got a high five for your first Valentine's Day instead of a dozen blood red roses with the thorns cut off so you don't prick your pwecious little fingfings.

Impatient: a flower AND an emotion. Is it an emotion actually? I don't know...

Before the four of you read any further you need to stop, and download Avril Lavigne's new single "What the Hell" because it's a ton of fun and I've decided that it's my new anthem and should be yours too. Ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way it's time to talk about my latest issue. As you may or may not know I have recently found my calling. I have decided that I should become a Disney Wedding Planner. Yes, they exist. I made this decision after watching David Tutera's Disney Dream Wedding special. Once I stopped crying (it was just too moving, really) it became clear to me that this profession is for me. However I have no idea how to make it happen. This is where you guys come in. HOW DO I MAKE THIS HAPPEN???? Step one is to become an actual wedding planner, or at least start working with one. Here's the thing: I am incredibly impatient. Seriously. I've been exercising on a very regular basis but only for the past two weeks. Even though it's only been a couple weeks I am getting impatient trying to see results. And yes it's really supposed to be all about the way I feel, but I feel great! I really do. I'm sleeping better, my skin looks great (though that may be due to my AMAZING facial cleanser. I have very temperamental skin so I have to spend a bundle on face wash but the result is worth it.), and I've been making pretty good eating decisions. Right now I'm focusing on cutting down my portions and adding more veggies into my diet. I'm being very good SO WHERE ARE MY RESULTS??????????????????????? As you can see I'm a tad bit frustrated. I'm really hoping to see some results (and by that I mean just a couple pounds, or maybe my clothes fitting me a little better. I'm not expecting miracles here) soon because I feel like once I can see physical results, I will probably be more motivated. It's hard not to get discouraged but I'm hanging in there.

The "C" Word

Not that word. I'm talking about COMMITMENT. In the past couple weeks that I have been working on my 3 step plan, I have come to realize that I have a HUGE fear of this. The weird thing is that I'm not really scared of being committed to a relationship, it's more or less my Future. I don't know if it's because  my parents both changed their careers after 30-something years, or if it's due to the fact that for four years I attended a school where if someone dared utter the "F" word, three quarters of the student body would drop to the fetal position and beg for mercy while purposely failing their classes. The fact is that it does not matter what caused this anxiety, it exists. Every time I think of where I'll be five years from now my breathing gets all ragged and my throat gets tight and parched. This cannot be a good sign. Here's the thing, the problem is that there are a bunch of things that I can see myself doing and being successful but there isn't that ONE thing that I am completely passionate about. There were times when I thought I was though. Like that time I was a journalism major right out of high school(what???), or the time when I decided I was going to be a cosmetologist...For the record, I did enjoy doing hair (and sometimes still do) but the pressure of having to do it every day and be PERFECT, was not for me. I mean I guess it's good that I'm trying things so I can find out what works and eliminate what doesn't, but the problem is that I haven't found anything that works yet. I love writing, because I'm hilarious, but I don't think I would be successful if I tried to force it out of me. It's pretty much the reason I'm terrified of trying stand up comedy. I know I'm funny, it's just more of a spontaneous kind of thing. I don't think I would be as funny if I tried to write it. What I'm pretty much focused on right now is event planning. Like weddings and parties and stuff. I feel like it's a good fit for me because A) I LOVE DAVID TUTERA AND EVERYTHING HE DOES!!! I even got to meet him with some friends over the summer. It was amazing!!!! B)It's a consistent job but with enough variety that I don't think I will get bored and C)I just love weddings. And parties in general. I know I would be good at this. 
My main issue now is figuring out how to go about doing this because even though there are many amazing and talented Party Planners out there, it's not exactly like schools have a major for this kind of thing. Which is pretty stupid if you ask me. 


This is us with David!! I'm the one to his left, obv. And yes we did make t-shirts. Jealous?

"When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead!"

The above is a quote from my new fave show, "How I Met Your Mother." I just started watching this show a couple months ago so I'm only like one or two seasons in (I'm dvr-ing them)but I'm COMPLETELY in love with it!!! The other night I was watching the episode where *SPOILER ALERT* Marshall and Lily have broken up and he is trying to get along without her. It was the saddest, most realistic, and overall best episode I have seen yet. Marshall (played by my future husband, Jason Segel) was the most realistic dump-ee that I have seen on tv or in film. Exception: Peter Bretter who is ALSO played by this handsome devil:

 Marshall was basically a broken down, sobbing, no pants-wearing, shell of a man. This went on for weeks and weeks and weeks until finally he was able to get up off his couch and make some pancakes. If you haven't seen this episode, I sincerely recommend it. And not just because Jason Segel is just so adorable, but because as someone with some experience in this area, I would definitely say that it is a realistic portrayal of his situation. The writers and actors really got to the core of what Marshall was going through, but they also had a great handle on what his friends (the rest of the cast, obv) were going through as well. Oh and I would also recommend the episode before it if you want a little background info plus some crazy good acting. It's all very sad and difficult to watch at times but never fear guys, it's a happy ending.


Ok, now that I'm done with that rant, I can brag about something awesome!!! I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!! I will be working in the child-watch center at the gym next door to BIL's place of work. It's pretty great actually. I'll be getting paid to hang out with kids all day PLUS a free membership to the gym! So that's pretty cool. It really works well with my workout schedule because I can either go in early and take a class or I can stay after and do some cardio or whatevah. Now, this brings me to the my next item of discussion...It's very embarrassing but I'm going to share my story with y'all anyway. On Monday night I went to a Zumba class at another gym. This is my third time taking this woman's class and she is AMAZING!!! She makes the class super fun and I always feel like I'm learning how to shake what my momma gave me whilst getting a crazy good workout. It is definitely a class I was planning on continuing to take even though I have a free membership just because it is so hard to find an amazing instructor sometimes and she really is all that and a bag of chips. Anyway, Monday night I walk into the gym and go to pay my 15 dollas for the class and I see that there is this REALLY cute guy working the desk. We're not talking run-of-the-mill average looking Joe either, we are talking like, Brawny paper towel guy kind of looks. So I go to pay for the class, and the guy is being super flirty with me and totally making me late for class (but hey, who am I to complain?) by trying to talk me into buying a membership for this gym. Now, I know for a fact that these guys do not get money for making a sale but I do know that they get credit. And this guy was soooo cute that I actually found myself considering it. And then, long story short, I found myself actually signing up for the thing! Next thing I knew, I was a new member. At this gym, where I do not work. Womp WOMMMMMP! I mean, it's not too, too bad. After all, the membership is 60 bucks a month, which is what I'd be paying anyway if I only go to Zumba once a week, so it's not a huuuuge difference. But the point of the story is that I let a super cute guy talk me into buying a membership at a gym when I already have a FREE one to the gym down the street. It was not my proudest moment, but I think we can all agree that it could have been waaaaaaaaaaay worse. You can all stop laughing at me now.

That voodoo that I do

This weekend was EXHAUSTING!!! But in the very best of ways. I had some serious gal pal time with two AMAZING ladies and it was Sistah #1's birthday weekend!! Her actual birthday isn't until tomorrow but whatevah! Anyway, the weekend started off perfectly with Margaret (one of my besties) arriving friday evening. We decided that the best way to spend our time together was to get hammered. And so we went to this sports bar about fifteen minutes away from us. I know what you're thinking and the answer is yes, I knew beforehand that it was a sports bar. It was really great though because when we were at the bar there were tv's pretty much everywhere and of the two tv's that were in front of us, one was playing some basketball game (I think it was the Celtics versus whoever) and the other was broadcasting a Maroon 5 concert. So every time we clapped and got excited for the band (that Adam Levine is foine!!!!!) it looked like we were cheering for something involving the game and therefore made us look like we really were there for the sports and not for the guys, even though we all know the real truth.  Speaking of which, I know it's only two hours away from the dirty Jerz but the guys up here are so different! For instance, they all had their own individual style. There wasn't a blowout or Ed Hardy shirt in sight, and they all looked like they showered sometime in the last 5 hours! It was pleasantly shocking. Anyway, four beers and a shot of Jaeger later, we decided to call it a night and peaced on outta there. Saturday brought the departure of Margaret but it also delivered the arrival of my very good friend, Red. Together we helped celebrate my sister's birthday by pounding back delightful beverages consisting of Malibu, pineapple juice, and a splash of grenadine. I would absolutely recommend this drink because not only is it DELISH but it looks really pretty too. We decided that it was just like a tequila sunrise, only it tasted good. Because it wasn't made with tequila. All in all it was a great night. Sadly she had to get back home because she's a grown up and has this thing called a "job", something I will hopefully have tomorrow after my interview (!!!!). But before I let her depart we treated ourselves to mani/pedis. This was a pretty difficult task because half the nail salons (along with ALL liquor stores) in CT are closed on Sundays!! But after much adventuring on our part we finally found one! It was also only 30 dollas for both mani and pedi- not a terrible deal. We had a great time catching up but the very best part of her visit was that after she read this very bloggy, she decided I needed to rid my life of terrible people and she brought me a little something to...help out. Here is a picture: 

It's a voodoo doll. Like, a legit voodoo doll from a voodoo priestess in NOLA. AND it came with instructions that I MUST share with you!!!!

Step 1: Lie down the voodoo doll on table or hang on the wall.

Step 2: Close your eyes and concentrate deeply on you victim or enemies at (office, school, exwife, etc.) or friend (any person you intend to help)

Step 3: White pin is for good luck, Black pin is for evil!

Step 4: FOR EXTRA POWERS CALL THE VOODOO KING IN NEW ORLEANS TO ORDER YOUR DOUBLE PINS FOR DOUBLE POWER.

You're welcome.

Rockstar status!!!

Alright let's just dive right in today shall we? First of all I'd like to say that I was a total ROCKSTAR today. I began the day with some yoga. Let me just say that this was the first yoga class I've taken in like, 3 years. It was a little intense but I can honestly say I put a hundred percent into it. I find it so fascinating how you can get in touch with the different parts of your body just by using certain positions and breathing techniques. For instance, my entire left side (especially my legs) is so much tighter than my right. I have to work twice as hard to get my left side relaxed and loosened up. Now, I think all four of you readers will be proud of me when you hear about how I handled my personal dilemma today. I was making lunch for myself and my nephew and for like ten minutes I found myself debating over whether or not I should make myself the same thing as the Zack Attack. He was feasting upon a fluffernutter. I'm sure you all know what a fluffernutter is but just in case you're a total weirdo, a fluffernutter is a sandwich made of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. My debate consisted of all sorts of inner turmoil (Not really, it wasn't that dramatic).But I did find myself trying to rationalize my choice of sandwich. Here's what my inner monologue was like: "Well, the peanut butter is reduced fat...and I could only have a half a sandwich...and it is whole grain bread..." it went on like this for a little while. Then I decided to have a bowl of progresso chicken noodle (Light, of course) with a side of some pop chips. And guess what? It was delish!!! Proud? Yep I thought so.


Moving to the Great North (that's what I'm calling CT now. I mean, there is so much snow here!) has brought me two indescribably wonderful things. So wonderful, so amazing, that I just can't believe that I went my whole life without these things involved in it. The first is Bumble and Bumble Hair Tonic. I know it's a hair product but seriously, my new stylist (a freaking genius btubbz) introduced me to it and it is AMAZING!!!! It is just so good!!! I'm growing my hair out a bit longer and it tends to break after a while and the tonic just adds all these extra vitamins and stuff back into my hair to keep it healthy. It is awesome. 

The next wonderfully amazing thing to happen to me is Homer. Homer is one of the two dogs that I now live with. I have never had a pet before but I have always known that I was a dog person. Holly and Homer are the names of my new dogs and they're both great but Homer is amazing. He's so great that I don't even mind that my clothes are constantly covered in dog hair! True story! I honestly feel like I have found my soulmate, only he is trapped in a dog's body. Is that weird? Probably. Seriously though. He loves to snuggle. In fact, as I was writing this he came downstairs and laid down right on my feet! He always initiates hand/paw holding. He's just so sweet and laid back and cuddly. The dogs aren't supposed to be in the bedrooms but Homeslice is just so cute that I sometimes let him hang out whilst I journal. Don't tell on us though, we'll get in big trouble.


Look at this face. Go ahead and try to tell me you'd say no to him.

A Fresh Start

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